Naked bitches in the eyes
(Source: ufansius)
The difference between bees and wasps.
- Bee:
- Hi there friend! How are you today? I'm just doing my job, pollinating flowers and all, no need to be afraid of me, I'm just happy I get to enjoy this wonderful weather with you.
- Wasp:
- Oh hey motherfucker, wanna go? I swear I will kill any cunt stupid enough to get 3 feet near me, I can sting you, and it will be the nastiest feeling you've had in awhile. Buzz Buzz, asshole. Bet that hurts doesn't it? Stupid fuck.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
we cannoli do so much
his legacy will become a pizza history.
here today, gone tomato
How sad that he ran out of thyme.
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.
You never know when death will come gnocchi-ng at the door
(Source: pointy-earedbastard)
hahahahahahaha my life
(Source: ihateyou-yetiloveyou)
(Source: peetashoneybuns)
(Source: teresa-ology)
Waffle House
(Source: oldpeoplefacebook)
Please sir, no touching of the dog
Remember Kyle Richards’ cameo on The Simple Life?
when Paris arrives in a helicopter…. LOL
Remember when drew this lol
(Source: fuckyeahtherealhousewives)
Anonymous asked:
are you planning to go see 'the beatles: the lost concert' film?
What are the beatles?
OH NEIN YOU DIDN’T.
I DID NAZI THAT COMING.
LOLOCAUST
ARE JEW KIDDING ME?
(Source: changetheworldlaugh)
(Source: gemmacorrell)
(Source: mountainmidget)
